《赢得友谊影响他人》读书笔记(6)

让他人感到他们自己是重要的，并且真诚地去做。

有一天我去邮局，注意到柜员好像很在工作中感到很无聊，于是我对自己说：我来试试看能不能让他喜欢我。

显然，让他喜欢我，我必须说一些好听的，当然不是关于我自己的，而是关于他的。于是我问自己：他有什么地方我可以表达真诚的赞美呢？

接下来当他称量的信的重量时，我很热情地说：“我真的希望能有像你一样的漂亮头发。”他抬起来，慢慢露出笑容并谦虚地说：“我之前的头发更漂亮。”我赞同的他的观点并且表达了虽然它可能没有以前那么好看，但是依然十分使人喜爱。然后我们就开始了一段愉快的谈话。

永远使他们感到他们自己重要，因为有一个你不得不承认的事实是几乎你遇到的所有人，都会觉得自己在某些方面是比你优秀的。因此直达对方内心的最好方法就是通过巧妙而细微的方法，让对方感受到你承认他的重要，并且是真诚的。如果你遵守这个法则，你将得到数不尽的朋友和认可。

最后顺便提一下：如果你想要改变他人的想法，那么遵循这个法则将大大提升你的成功率。

One day I went to a post office and noticed the clerk appeared to be bored with his job. So I said to myself:" I am going to try to make this clerk like me." Obviously, to make him like me, I must say sth. nice, not about myself, but about him. So I asked myself:" What is there about him that I can honestly admire?"

So while he was weighing my envelop, I remarked with enthusiasm:" I certain wish I had your head of hair." He looked up, blaming with smile and said modestly:" Well, it isn't as good as it used to be." Then I assured him that although it might have lost some of its pristine glory, nevertheless it was still magnificent. Then we carried on a pleasant little conversation.

The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. It is this urge that has been responsible for civilization itself. And I shall call it the most important law of human conduct. If we obey, we shall almost never get into trouble and get countless friends and constant happiness.

Always make other persons feel important. Because there is a truth that almost all people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way. So there is a sure way to their hearts is that letting them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely. Besides, those who make others feel important are more likely to change others.