从双减角度看高考英语续写作文

从 “双减” 视角看高中英语教学 (一)

——谈高考续写作文

高中英语教学跟初中英语教学有很大的不同。

其一是要真正的提高学生的英语学习能力，不是简单的传授知识点。这样讲的话，有些初中老师可能觉得冤枉，其实我不是冒犯初中英语教学，而是这跟我们的评讲体系有关，有一点，我觉得是这样的：中考英语基础题占了83%------85%，那剩下的有难度的就是要挑战的地方，可惜往往我们老师不得已，要总体过关，只能在平均分上做文章，这样说实话效果快，但恰恰是这15%不到的部分是学生学习能力的体现却得不到有效的启发与提高。于是乎，很多同学都已经烂熟于心的东西不得不在家庭作业上不停地操练，而真正的读与写的能力却没有得到发掘，这样到高中学习阶段很快漏出端倪，真正英语能力够得上的，高中英语学习很快适应，而这方面能力没有得到培养的学生会掉队，整个人不在状态，以至于到高考分数值差距很大，有几十分的差距。这也是双减的要点：减少低效率的，机械的训练。

其二，是要树立正确的有关英语学习的认识。学英语是为了以后发展，取得更大成就扫清障碍。英语是工具，是科学研究的拐棍，试问袁隆平院士，钟南山院士他们的贡献有目共睹，哪个不是熟练掌握英语这工具的？不要把它单纯的看成是一门学科。这个在教学要求上，在高考上是有体现的，比如，四篇阅读一般涵盖应用说明文，人文社会篇，科普篇，充分体现了学科的融合与工具作用。还有就是写作的比分也在提高，小作文应用文写作15分，再加上续写作文25分是很考验综合能力的------阅读，表达能力。把握这两点，教师的教学才能站得高，才能更好地带领学生冲锋陷阵！

言归正传，续写作文的要点：一读题，读出意思领会原文的脉络。二、表达，清楚地表达出自己心里想的，词要达意，而且要用自己掌握的英文地道的表达。

读题要读进去，把自己融进去，融在文章的环境里去体会就不会脱离文章。走出来，读完还要抽身出来看布局。看一幅画，我们不是靠得越近越好，而是要后退几步看整体。如：21年高考题。

第二节（满分 25 分）阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

A MOTHER’S DAYSURPRISE

The twins were filledwith excitement as they thought of the surprise they were planning for Mother’sDay. How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast inbed. They planned to make French toast and chicken porridge. They had watchedtheir mother in the kitchen. There was nothing to it. Jenna and Jeff knewexactly what to do.

The big day came atlast. The alarm rang at 6 a.m. The pair went down the stairs quietly to thekitchen. They decided to boil the porridge first. They put some rice into a potof water and left it to boil while they made the French toast. Jeff broke twoeggs into a plate and added in some milk. Jenna found the bread and put twoslices into the egg mixture. Next, Jeff turned on the second stove burner toheat up the frying pan. Everything was going smoothly until Jeff started fryingthe bread. The pan was too hot and the bread turned black within seconds. Jennathrew the burnt piece into the sink and put in the other slice of bread. Thistime, she turned down the fire so it cooked nicely.

Then Jeff noticedsteam shooting out of the pot and the lid starting to shake. The next minute,the porridge boiled over and put out the fire. Jenna panicked. Thankfully, Jeffstayed calm and turned off the gas quickly. But the stove was a mess now. Jennatold Jeff to clean it up so they could continue to cook the rest of theporridge. But Jeff’s hand touched the hot burner and he gave a cry of pain.Jenna made him put his hand in cold water. Then she caught the smell ofburning. Oh dear! The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well.

注意： 1. 续写词数应为 150 左右 2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

As the twins lookedaround them in disappointment, their father appeared _________. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The twins carried thebreakfast upstairs and woke their mother up. _____________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

学生的作文：原文看附图。

比如红笔部分订正的基本是语法部分，如：surprisingly----改成surprised因为是表示状态嘛，非谓语动词做状语。这样的问题，孩子出现一次给他讲清楚，他就会明白。因为往往他们不是不懂而是到了临场写的时候不严谨了而已，而且语法部分不是我们写作所要拼命纠正的，这是芝麻，不影响表达的语法及拼写几乎忽略不计。慢慢的写多了就会自己改正语法错误。培养学生的写作思路才是根本，请看绿颜色的部分: “because they had notime to clean the stove”. 这个理由是作者自己硬栽上去的，跟前文所要表达的意图与前文所传递的信息接不上加上这个貌似合理的理由之后呢，他又草率地一马平川地往错误地方向奔去而浑然不知。更没有交待清楚后面的这个汉堡应该是重新拿面包做的，我问他的，他心里也是这么想的，但是作文中没有交待清楚啊，读者也就是阅卷的人会理解为就是把两片烧焦不可逆的面包中间加了蔬菜和奶酪来蒙骗妈妈了，跟上文处心积虑要为妈妈准备早餐相去甚远How pleased and proudMother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed. They planned to makeFrench toast and chicken porridge. They had watched their mother in thekitchen. There was nothing to it. Jenna and Jeff knew exactly what to do. 其实这段续写应该是表达孩子们在爸爸的指导下还是做了预先想要做的出色的早餐才能更符合文章的中心思想。可以这么写：looking at the mess,the father knew what had happened at once. “Oh, dad we had planned…..”, saidthe twins. “You are great, remember failure is the mother of success ! ” fatherencouraged. The boys looked at each other and smiled while the disappointmentgave way to the courage and then they just start from the scratch, this timethey do very well and get the exacttoasted bread they wanted, and the porridge turned out as they desiredperfectly.这里我把爸爸的话题点到为止主要还是要突出孩子虽然遇到困难不怕挫折，最后获得成功来描述。

而本篇文章离题具体表现还是属于表达不到位导致的离题。心里想的不能正确表达这是普遍的现象，是老师要培养的关键能力之一，这篇文章中要表达清楚最起码也要加个another ，这样变成between another two pieces ofbread. 才能把自己心里想的写出来，也才合乎逻辑。然而重点来了，续写它是在原有基础上的续写，总共才150个字，所以我们在续写的时候一定要限定主题，也就是符合主题，因为本身限制太多，试问你能在一段75个字左右的篇幅里写出完全脱离主题的文字还能收得回来？答案显然是不可能的。没有给你腾挪跌宕的空间啊，不能翻筋斗只能顺着路子流出来，好比水到渠成，这也是考功底的。当然这个是共性，试问有多少学生，包括我们自己写作文的时候，也有很多离题而不自知的情况。一者是上文表达错误了离题了，二者是因为读题不投入，要忘我。读成“曲中人”。

初闻不知曲中意，再听已是曲终人。第二段中the twins didn’t wantto tell the truth, worrying it make her angry. 这一句话传递出的是妈妈的性格：霸道，易怒。这可怜的父子三人天天得有多战战兢兢啊！原文可没有传递这样的信息呢，孩子要给妈妈礼物也是用心的，真诚可见一斑，此处不应该是这样的画面。所以不妥。这就不是“曲中人”分明是带着不理性的臆想，把自己的某一时刻的感知或看法设定到文章中去，这个不难理解，比如阅读理解当中也是的明明人家问了作者是什么看法，而学生往往把符合自己的看法选进去，这就没有“忘我精神”没有问“你的”看法，所以你的三观再正也不符合答案啊，就是这个道理。读写相通。抑或有人还觉得不理解，几乎还能引起他她的共鸣，说：“对哟，我妈就是这样哦，知道我弄坏什么还不把我皮剥了”我敢打赌绝对有这样不知所以然的孩子，老师得耐心地跟他扯明了讲：你妈的这一套在Jeff和Jenna 的妈妈身上应该不会有所体现，上下文不答应啊！

第二段可以这么写：The twins carried the breakfastupstairs and woke their mother up. Surprised, the mother was! She responded theboys’ greeting of “Happy Mother’s Day by kissing them both and began to enjoyher breakfast with a big smile on her face. After that she said : “My dear sonsI see you must have well prepared the gift, and you may meet with some trouble, but anyway it paid off, I hope you will carry everything out this way eversince!” The boys nodded with saying “Thank you mother, we will” meanwhile thefather had got up stairs, and stood there smiling at them with his thumb-up for them!

尽量保留原来作者的句子或者意思，但扯得远又不能体现主题的要果断删掉，这样学生才会进步。比如戏精爸爸老是抢妈妈的风头，也许在一个家庭中爸爸确是理性的一个角色，调谐母子关系，但这篇文章不能写太多的爸爸，重点在孩子的感恩行动和妈妈的surprise反应以及一个家庭的和乐融融, 作者也注意到这一点，在文章的最后想力挽狂澜，急促地加了一个友爱的结尾，不免显得有点生硬。

以上几点写作上出现的问题，是共性。任何一篇文章，很多学生写下来都会有类似的错误。

总而言之写作教学是一个系统工程，不是一蹴而就的事，急不得。在第九版《美国大学英语写作》这本书上以及其它写作书籍也强调写作要批改。要指出学生的问题，更要帮他们改，告诉他如何表达到位，慢慢养成能对自己的文章动刀子改，那么写作就过关了。“双减”减的是负能量的，低效率的，高中教学涉及到写作这一块还是需要我们老师不断提高教学质量，提高学生的写作能力，任重而道远！