公益课优秀学生作文欣赏四 —— “打雪仗的战场,放开打”

发布于 2021-03-29 01:43 ，所属分类：知识学习综合资讯

My Favourite Season

By Dominic

Hello. My name is Dominic, and I have pinged you to come to announce that my favourite season is winter. I will explain why after I explain why I pinged you in the first place.

I pinged you in the first place because it was snowing, and I promised actually to tell you when it snows. Now, let’s get to how this started. You told me last year when it snowed that you wanted to know which season is my favourite one. I promised you that I would tell you when it snows again, and here I am, telling you that my favourite season is winter. I will now tell you why my favourite season is winter.

My favourite season is winter because it is the time when you can roll in the snow, make snowmen, and make a snowball battleground to fight on. It is the time where you can have hot chocolate around the fire, go ice skating before the sand trucks come, and host a competition of “Who smashes the most snowmen”. As you can see, it is a wonderful time.

In a nutshell, you asked me to tell you what was my favourite season. I said it was winter because there are lots of things you can do such as going ice skating, having hot chocolate around the fire, and hosting competitions of “Who smashes the most snowmen”. It’s a wonderful season. By the way, could you please tell me which season out of the four other seasons do you like the most? I would love to hear from your side.

老师评语：

“An exceptionally bright young boy. Very well organised essay. I expected more variation in vocabulary. Very readable style of writing, it looks as if he has a talent for storytelling. However, he used slang, which he needs to avoid. Never assume the reader understands slang.”

（一个非常聪明的小男孩。文章的结构很好。期望能用到更多变化的词汇。同时写作风格可读性很强，很像有讲故事的才能。但是使用了俚语，这是需要避免的。永远不要以为读者能听得懂俚语。）